Friday, April 4, 2014

IUI#3 and a Surprise Opinion

IUI #3 is in the books! Everything went well and it was quick and painless. DH's count was 38.8 mil after the wash which I am really happy with and relieved by because he only abstained for one day. The countdown begins!

My husband and I have been together for almost 14 years and sometimes I am just completely taken aback when we are not on the same page. I am still in shock by what happened this morning.

However slim, there is a possibility that the three follicles on my right side matured enough to be released and fertilized. Logically, I know that since we have had no success thus far, the chances of four eggs being fertilized are pretty much nil but my IF brain starts working overtime and possibilities start running rampant through my mind and I over think like crazy. This morning, when I awoke to a ton of pinching and cramping on my right side, I had a little moment of panic. What if all four follies released mature eggs and they all were fertilized? We have always talked about how awesome it would be to have twins. I was a nanny for twins (from the time they were three months old until they were 22 months old) and know that it's a lot of work, but it was also pretty awesome and I know that I would love having multiples but FOUR? That would be craziness. I shared this concern with my husband and was shocked when he said: Well, obviously we would do a selective reduction, there's no way we are having four.

I was struck speechless. Ummmmm, what? Selective reduction? Just because four would be too many? Uh, no. Have we met? While I believe that every woman should be able to make her own choice and do not force my beliefs on others, I am against selective reduction for myself (except when it is necessary for the health of other fetus'). I just cannot see going through all of this, only to get pregnant and then CHOSE not to have all the babies God blessed me with.

I was speechless. How could we not be on the same page on this? I didn't say anything and still haven't. It's probably not a bridge we will ever have to cross so why have a hypothetical conversation that would probably turn into an argument.

The more I think about it, the more I know, deep inside, that my husband would not be able to do that. For crying out loud, when our cat got out when she was in her first heat (she was due to be spayed and went into heat and they wouldn't do the spay until after she was finished) and got KU, he called the vet to make an appointment to find out if she was indeed "with kittens" (his words) they asked if we would just like to spay her and dispose of the kittens and he lost his shit. He couldn't believe they would ask that. When it comes down to it, I don't think he could handle a selective reduction that wasn't due to medical necessity. But still. I can't believe those words came out of his mouth.


  1. I hope you are not faced with that decision. Prior to our first IUI cycle my husband and I were on the same page...that selective reduction was not an option. But, then we did conceive quads, and with me being high-risk already (Type 1 Diabetes), we knew that we couldn't carry 4. One baby died on its own at 8w, and we hoped that nature would step in again, but unfortunately it did not. Up to that point in our lives, the decision to reduce to twins was the hardest thing we had ever had to do. We made the decision that worked for our family, but I really hope you won't ever have to think about it for real. I do hope you get one, though!!

    1. That must have been such a difficult decision, I'm sorry you had to make it and I'm sorry for your loss. Faced with the same thing, I'm sure we would make that decision as well.

  2. Men just think so much differently... My DH is completely rational based with all of his decisions. Me? Emotional basket case. There have been many similar shocking things that have come out of his mouth and I think, "What?!?!?"

  3. I get floored when the fella and I have had a talk about a certain subject and are on the same page, then the topic comes up later and not only does he have a different opinion, but he doesn't even remember the conversation! I'm all... did I just imagine it then?? That kills me! Hope the IUI works in the best way for you!!

  4. Awesome numbers! Hope you get your BFP!