Truthfully, $5 is nothing to scoff at. That's $5 someone took out of their pocket and handed over to us because try want us to succeed. It is the most concrete way they can show us support and that means a lot to me. I am truthfully grateful for any donation. The person who donated it chose to remain anonymous to the world, although we know who it is from because they sent us a message, but I am sad that they want to remain anonymous because I would love to be able to thank them publicly!
The best thing that has come out of my sharing my blog, so far, is that a friend from childhood shared her story with me and said she feels less alone in knowing my story. That's pretty amazing and wonderful and although it sucks that she has gone through hell alone, I'm happy that she knows there is someone else out there going through it too. I don't have any friends IRL, they've all lapped me and have moved on to find friends with kids or spend time with one another, so it's nice to know someone IRL who understands that.
I am, however, disappointed with myself because I feel like a failure for only raising $5. Was I not self deprecating enough? Should I have spammed Facebook? Emailed my blog and campaign to my entire address book? I keep telling myself that I am not a failure, that it's has only been one day since I began my fundraiser but still, I can't help feel like I fail at everything right now. And I'm scared. Scared that we are losing time by my going on BCPs that might be all for naught if we can't raise the money for IVF. I'm scared that we will fail before we even get the chance to try.