Monday, February 24, 2014

IUI #2: Fail

Well, I had started to write a post about how I had horrible cramps but had gotten a much darker second line this morning when I had a sharp cramping pain and gushing feeling and immediately knew: AF had arrived. 

In the bathroom, I just kept saying, "oh no, no, no, no!" But alas, one cannot stop Mother Nature. So, IUI#2 is officially a bust. 

DH just made me a salami, pepperoni and cheese platter for lunch so I am drowing my sorrows in that and really second guessing my RE's opinion that my LP didn't need any extra support with a later than normal O. 

I don't know how many more if these I can take. Treatment is such a double edged sword. When we were trying naturally, the end of a cycle was so much easier to handle. Now, I have so much hope with each cycle there's that much more of a let down when it ends.

I have been looking into IVF trials at UCSF (University of California, San Francisco) and am giving some serious consideration to applying to one or more of their trials, but it would be difficult logistically as SF is three hours away without traffic. My sister's live a half hour from SF so I could stay with one of them if need be, but then the question (after answering the question of whether or not I would be ok with the kinds of trials they do) is; am I willing to give up my privacy and come out of the IF closet for the convenience of only having a half hour drive during stimming and the chance of getting pregnant through one of these trials? (If I could even get accepted)

If I haven't reached my lifetime infertility insurance cap, which I am pretty close to, we will probably try one more IUI and then have a serious talk about trials, since we cannot afford IVF on our own. 

Shittay. :( 

6 comments:

  1. :-( I'm so sorry. Sending big hugs <3

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  2. Hi from ICLW. I'm so sorry this wasn't a BFP for you :( Keep hoping.

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  3. Shitty is right. I'm so sorry :(

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  4. Oh I'm sorry. That's super shitty. :-(

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  5. Oh, I am so sorry :( It only seems to get harder the farther along the path we go... Take care of yourself & I love the way your DH is taking care of you too. ((hugs))

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