Saturday, May 30, 2015

Words aren't adequate

******warning, loss mentioned********

I was planning a post for today on our cycle but something much more important has come up. I am sad to say that one of my dear friends lost her beautiful daughter, Rosa Kimberly, yesterday and delivered her today. I ask all of you to please say prayers to lift Rosa up to the Lord and to pray for peace and comfort for my dear friend and her husband during this unbelievably hard time.

The loss of a baby is not something anyone should have to experience. Ever. I am so deeply saddened by their loss. This woman is absolutely amazing and has been battling infertility like a true warrior for years, with her husband right there by her side. She is always there with encouragement and is always thinking of others and their journeys (even while in labor to deliver Rosa). She is a dear friend. She invited me to our FB group and helped to make it the amazing safe haven and support network it is and the difficulties that have surrounded my infertility journey have been made easier to handle because of her. The idea of her having to go through this, to have to feel this pain, is unbearable and unfair and just wrong. I want to be able to take some of that pain away, to shoulder it, just for a moment to give her some relief because I can't even begin to fathom how difficult this must be for her and her husband. 

I just keep shaking my head in disbelief and thinking, Why? Why could something so awful happen so such an amazing person and her amazing husband? How is this fair? Why, after having gone through so much with infertility, are she and her husband burdened with this pain too? I just don't know. I have no answers to those questions, except that it is just unfair.

One thing I do know for sure is that Rosa Kimberly is loved, cherished and will be remembered forever. I will always carry her in my heart and I hope you all will too.

I also know that all women who go through a loss can use support, and I know that sometimes it is hard to know what you should and shouldn't say to someone who is going through the loss of their baby so I wanted to share with you all two articles I found last year, when another friend lost her baby, that give suggestions on how to be the most supportive people we can be to our friends who have lost a baby. They are: 


  1. Always remembering sweet Rosa and all the other Dreamer Angels. I hate how unfair life can be.

  2. Always remembering sweet Rosa and all the other Dreamer Angels. I hate how unfair life can be.

  3. ....thank you so much for empathizing so deeply with us. I have been at a loss for words, and seeing this post has helped me in more ways than one. For starters, it is so touching to know that you (and so many of our Dreaming Sisters) truly feel this loss alongside us. I know you do, because it's how I feel about you and the other Dreamers... When someone suffers a loss in the group, we all feel it to our core. As if it happened to yourself. When someone has a victory (big or small) we all celebrate as if we are all a part of it personally... Because we are. I love you girls more than words could ever say.

    Your post is also helpful to me in sorting out my emotions... Which are a jumbled mess right now. I have so many of the same questions that you wrote here... I have fallen so deeply in despair that I have stopped asking those questions. I don't know what to do... I just want the pain to go away. And I want to be in heaven with my girl. ::deep sigh:: I know one day that will happen, and it will be wonderful. But for now, I get the sense that I am meant to roam this earth for quite some time. I have to find a way to live with this and endure the pain... I don't know how it'll happen. I pray for strength every day.

    Anyway, thank you for your post. And your friendship. And for prompting my brain to sift through the pain and pinpoint some of my emotions and thoughts. I can't express how helpful this was to me <3