I'm getting nervous about my hysteroscopy and polypectomy next week. I have this crazy irrational fear that the polyps are going to come back cancerous. It's worrying me so much I made DH promise that even if the polyps come back as cancer, we'd still go through ER before treating it. I have no idea why this is weighing so heavy on my mind, there's no reproductive organ cancer in my family history but I had an abnormal pap 12 years ago and had a cone biopsy done that came back with precancerous cells. Ever since Dr. W mentioned that the cone biopsy was probably the reason for the calcification on my cervix, I keep thinking about those damn pre-c cells. I also keep worrying that the calcification might lead to an incompetent cervix if I do get KU! I'm a bundle of worry!
DH just keeps saying we will know soon enough and then gives me a little pat on the head and says, then I can move on to worrying about lack of response or arresting embryos. He's right, there's always going to be something to worry about. The key is not allowing it to take over my every waking thought. So, I am going to try really hard to just go with the flow and not stress too much about anything but that's easier said than done!
I just keep trying to focus on how much fun I am going to have stabbing myself with needles! On a pretty awesome front, my parents were already planning on coming out from Texas for one of my neice's graduatiions and offered to come stay with us to help around the ranch during ER and ET. I'll be going to Reno a lot for appointments and then I'll have to rest up after ER so DH will have a lot of his plate, running the business and taking care of all of our animals so it will be really nice to have them here. I know my mom will do all the cooking and cleaning and dad will do all the heavy lifting (DH has degenerative disk disease so the heavy lifting is usually my job) so I will be grateful to have them here. Plus, DH can't do needles (he will literally pass out) so I thought I was going to have to do my own PIO injections, but my mom said she'd do them for me. She'll finally get a few jabs in as payback for my teenage years ;)