Friday, January 2, 2015

Still Here!

I know it may not seem like it, but I am still here! It's hard to update an IF blog when nothing is going on. DH and I are still trying for a miracle and saving up in the meantime. We have had a lot going on with the puppies and family visits and drama with his side of the family so I have only been online to do work and keep up with TB and IDOB.

I just finally finished reading "It Starts with the Egg" and boy am I in for some lifestyle changes! DH and I eliminated all of the plastic in our kitchen and I (begrudgingly) parted with all of my makeup and hair care products. I am massively guilty of making a completely processed food full dinner one day a week so we are eliminating that as well. Our monthly grocery trip is going to be very different. Since DH is allergic to fresh fruit and veggies, it will be hard to try and make separate dishes for each of us for dinner, but I am going to try. Shampoos without all the bad stuff are expensive and we are on a strict budget so I am going to attempt to make my own shampoo this weekend. It can't be that hard, right? I already make my own soap so shampoo can't be that hard. We shall see how it goes. It kinda makes me feel like a "crunchy" but whatevs! 

The puppies are eight weeks old and ready to go to their new homes! It's crazy to think it's been eight weeks already. Two pups left on Wednesday and all but one will leave this weekend. Part of me is SO ready for them to go because they are so much work and part of me wants to keep them all! I will definitely miss their sweet little faces.

Here is one of the boys:

Excuse the non-IF related tirade I am about to go on, lately I have had a lot to process with DH's family and I just need to get it out. Feel free to skip it!

DH's family is a mess. Remember the meth addict SIL? Well her fiance got arrested on NYE for possession and driving while intoxicated. I don't like to make assumptions and usually give people the benefit of the doubt, but in this case I will not. If he is using again, so is she and it's unacceptable. I've never met an addict who can have someone living with them, who is using and not use themselves. I will never understand how it is that she can have kids (two amazing, wonderful kids) and I can't. I feel like I am a good person, I always try to do the right thing. What is wrong with the universe that allows such terrible people to be parents?

DH's dad (adoptive) is a terrible person. Terrible. We found out some facts about his past that are truly stomach turning and we want no part of him in our lives. We have long known that he had an affair when DH's mom and dad were first married. What we didn't know is that the so-called affair was actually him molesting a young student while he was a pastor/teacher. We also found out that he is suing us for property that we own that he lived on. Who does that?

I feel bad that I don't feel bad that I told DH that we are done with his family. Finished. I do not want to speak to them, see them or have them near either of us. They are truly poisonous people and I cannot have people who behave the way that they do, in my life. I have an extremely long fuse. I am patient and forgiving and for 14 years I have continued to allow these people into our lives and home, regardless of their transgressions, but his sister's drug abuse and dad's disgusting behaviors are not something I can continue to tolerate. The only thing I do feel bad about is the fact that he keeps apologizing for me having married into the mess. I jokingly said, once, that if I had only known... but have since changed my response to, but then I wouldn't be with you. I hope it gives him some solace to know that I don't blame him, he was adopted into the mess!

I hate to play to comparison game (my family is better than yours) but really? I thought my family was a little BSC. I had no idea what a BSC family really was.

So that is what's going on in these parts! Not much on the IF front but we'll get there eventually!


  1. Those pups are adorable!!

    Sorry your ILs are such a mess. Its so hard to see people make such bad choices with their lives,

    Good luck with the life style changes!

    1. Thanks, Packer! It's going to be tough to eliminate all the bad stuff completely but I'm gonna try!

  2. I just wanted to say hi and that I'm glad you updated! I think of you a lot and hope you are doing well (even though there's not much moving on the IF front).
    I'm sorry about your ILs. I am sure that must be very hard and a lot of stress for you and your H. I hope your decision to remove them from your lives will help you.
    PS: ADORABLE puppy!! What a little sweetie pie. Are you ending up keeping one or sending all to new forever homes?

    1. Thanks Chikin! I felt like a weight was lifted off my chest just by making the decision to cut them out, hopefully it helps.

      We are keeping a chocolate female and naming her Tully :) She is spunky and into everything! I keep trying to get a picture of her holding still but it is no easy task! When I get one, I will post it!

  3. ((Hugs)) That sucks so much about your H's family. It's a hard situation to deal with. On a side note, that puppy is A-Dorable!!!

  4. I LOVE the puppy pics! So much cuteness! I am sorry DH's family is such a mess. Sounds like you guys have a lot to deal with in that respect. ((hugs))

    I am thinking of you often and keeping hope alive for a surprise BFP. Hoping the lifestyle changes aren't too much trouble! Hang in there, lady! <3