Monday, April 20, 2015

You Are Not Alone

It is National Infertility Awareness Week and I would like to share this post with you, my long time readers as well as those who may be coming here for the first time. Those who may not know a lot about infertility and those who are suffering in silence. Today, I am taking part in Resolve's Blogger's Unite and am sharing this post for those who are just starting out in their journey or those who are just looking for a hug and the knowledge that, you are not alone.

I have this impossible dream. I dream that I wake up one morning, feel kind of sick and realize that my period is late. I have to run out to the store to buy a pregnancy test and later that day, on a whim, I decide to test and discover that, surprise! I am pregnant. Why is this an impossible dream? Well, it’s because I am infertile. I will never get to experience a surprise pregnancy, I will never know the shock, fear and excitement that comes with rushing out to the store and peeing on a stick to have two lines instantly appear. For me, everything is planned, right down to the day and minute. For me, conception may still be a shock but only because the odds are against me and while I still hold out hope, I realize that my chances of becoming pregnant aren't great.

I am not the only one. 1 in 8 couples struggle with infertility. Many of them silently, I know I did at first. I didn't want to believe that we couldn't have kids on our own and later, I didn't want to share my pain with anyone else. I already have to be so strong for myself and my spouse, the idea of having to be strong in the face of well-intentioned but hurtful statements was an unbearable thought. We went through our journey for four years, alone, without reaching out to any one. 

It wasn't until our doctor recommended, for the third time, that we go to a reproductive endocrinologist that I even started doing research into infertility. What I found then was a lot of scariness and a lot of love and support. The treatments, the possible risks and failures, the disappointments, those were all the scary things. But what I learned is that there is a good side to infertility, the community. While researching, I came across this amazing support network, this web of infertiles, who come together to support, encourage and educate one another. I found that discussing my infertility and treatment options with my peers not only helped me process everything but it gave me an outlet for the stress I was feeling about facing infertility alone.

Eventually, we did come out to our families and have found a lot of support as well as well meaning but hurtful comments and statements but through everything, I had my girls on Then Comes Family and IDOB and it helped take the sting away. Without that support network, I would have lost my mind and now that we are moving on with IVF, I am more grateful than ever to have them; as a sounding board, a source of support and encouragement and a resource of endless knowledge.

Thankfully I learned that I am not alone and neither are you!

You can learn more about Infertility here:  (Basic understanding of the disease of infertility.)

And more about NIAW here: (About NIAW)


  1. Great post! I'm also participating in the challenge. Like you, I've found the IF community to be incredibly supportive. They've really helped me get through these past four years with my sanity (mostly) intact.

  2. You are not alone! I love this years theme!