Come on AF

So, my hopes are not high. I am protecting my heart. But a little part of me is praying that AF shows up on time tomorrow and that the study hasn't closed when I call as soon as she gets here. I wish the nurse that called a few weeks ago could have given me a definitive answer because I've kind of been a grumpy bitch since I found out that it is likely the study will be closed before AF's arrival. Poor DH, I've just been kind of slumpy and I know it is hard for him. He hates that he can't fix this for me.

I'm also a little scared to call. I'm scared to have this one shred of hope taken away from me. Half of me just wants to know for sure that it is closed and that this avenue is definitely not available to me. Half of me is bargaining with God and praying that it isn't closed. Can't I just catch one little break? Puh-leeze!?!

Keep everything crossed for me that AF shows up tomorrow. At least then we'll know.