Circle + Bloom

Despite the fact that I am battling some pretty embarrassing side effects from Femara and have to clench-walk to the bathroom every hour, I am in a good head space. I attribute this to the newest addition to my protocol: Circle + Bloom. I somewhat hesitantly shelled out the cash to download their IUI/IVF program because once I found it, I decided that if I don't try it and this cycle fails, I will forever wonder if adding it to my daily routine would have been the thing that could have made it work. 

I started the program without really thinking that it would help me relax and/or help me change my mindset but I was pleasantly surprised. In fact, while listening to the introduction, I actually started to cry (in a good way). The woman who created and narrates the program said some encouraging words about struggling with infertility and apparently it was just the encouragement that I needed and tears of relief (or maybe acknowledgement?) just flowed unwittingly down my checks.

The meditation helps me to feel much more relaxed and reminds me that a positive attitude about my body succeeding at what I want it to do, is the best approach. Whereas last treatment cycle I felt overwhelmed by the side effects, pains and changes in my body, this cycle I am embracing them. If I am having side effects, that means the medicine is in my system, doing its job. The pains I feel? They are good, not annoying. They mean my ovaries are doing their job and the bloating means those beautiful little follies are plumping up and filling out, just like they are supposed to.

I like this mindset and I like me better when I am able to think this way. I am trying not to entertain the little negative voices in my head. Instead I am trying (hesitantly but I am trying) to truly believe that this cycle will work and that my body will succeed. I am filling my brain and body with positive energy and thoughts and hoping believing that this time will work.