Sad Day

About an month ago, our sweet Pygmy goat, Grace, started falling down a lot and seemed to be wheezing. We had a big fire in the area and there was a lot of smoke from the fire lingering, so while we knew that Grace was getting old, I was  hopeful she just had a respiratory infection. (DH thought she was just getting old and was on her last legs) We brought her in the house and cared for her and dosed her up with B vitamin injections and Robitussin for a week/ She improved a great deal so we put her back out with the rest of the herd. The problem we encountered, though, is that they weren't being very nice to her. (DH was concerned that the rest of the goats were trying to thin the herd) They were constantly head butting her and chasing her away from the feed. So, like a good husband, DH built a pen next to the yard where we keep the goats. That way, she could be near the herd but wouldn't be bullied.

After a week, she was so much better, we started letting her back in the yard with the herd for short periods of time and no one was bothering her, so I moved her back in, full time. Things seemed fine, although sometimes she seemed a little less energetic than usual. Yesterday, I noticed that she was moving kind of slowly, but she wasn't wheezing or acting sick in any way so I didn't bring her in the house (with the puppies in the house it didn't seem like a good idea to bring a potentially sick goat inside). But sadly, this morning, when I went to feed everyone, she wasn't with the herd. In fact, she wasn't anywhere to be found. I called for her and called for her and looked everywhere. Then, I thought that maybe, since it had been raining, she might have gone under the shed that's in their yard (it's built on a hill so there's a clearance of about 4 feet). Sadly, that is where I found her. She looked like she was just sleeping, but after climbing under the shed, I realized that she had passed in her sleep during the night. I am thankful that she seemed to have gone peacefully but will miss her immensely. She was my favorite goat and always wanted love and affection from me at feeding times and whenever I went in the yard (as opposed to the other goats who are just interested in whether or not I have food).

My Sweet Gracie Girl

We missed O but... puppies!

For a long time, I have suspected that I only O one or two good eggs a year. While I get occasional cross-hairs on FF and positive OPKs, I never get any other symptoms of O (i.e. it's usually as dry as the Sahara down there at O time). Last year, I think I had a strong O in July and in December which was unmedicated and resulted in a CP. Wouldn't you know it, the day after the puppies were born I had a strong O? It was like a slip and slide down there ya'll. And wouldn't you also know it, we missed it due to momma's labor, delivery and complete exhaustion on our parts. DH fell asleep and I couldn't bring myself to wake him up because I knew I had to stay awake until he got up at 2 am to relieve me from puppy duty. I knew that if I woke him, he'd sleep later than 2 and I would have to stay awake longer! Now of course I am bummed and wish I had woken him but hindsight is 20/20.

Sigh.

On the plus side, we have puppies. Lots of adorable puppies. I love them, I love snuggling them. But I will say that it's a damn good thing they are so cute because when I have to get up to supervise feedings three times a night and look around our house and see that it looks like a bomb went off, I am none too pleased with them. But then I see these little faces and my heart melts!

Puppies

The puppies have arrived! Dakota went into labor yesterday (11/4) but didn't start popping out pups until 10:00 this morning (11/5). We were told, by our vet, to expect eight pups but I kept looking at that x-ray picture and was sure there were nine in there. When we got to eight, I started to doubt my counting because she certainly wasn't acting like any more were coming but low and behold, a half hour after the eighth, a ninth arrived. Certain she was finished, I got her whelping box cleaned out, changed her blankets and settled all the pups in for a feeding. I was shocked when she started pushing again and out came number TEN!

So we have ten, adorable, healthy pups and one tired but content momma. Even though I will have to be up every two hours for the next week, to supervise feedings, I am overjoyed. I love caring for all the pups and keeping a record of every milestone for their family's to have. It makes me happy to know that we are going to be able to give other's the same joy and happiness we have experienced due to having our own fur babies in our lives.

This time around I am particularly excited to be passing on this joy to one of our soon to be fur parents. We ask any perspective fur parents to fill out an application and then I end up corresponding with them via email for a while before they come to meet their pup. I like to be sure that every puppy placement is truly a forever placement so I like to get to know the new owners. Obviously, people are also interested in knowing about DH and I, so I'm never surprised when they find my FB page or find out some detail about us by googling us. This time, one of our perspective parents came across my public IF blog. She emailed me to tell me she had found it and shared her story with me: she wants a puppy because after many failed attempts to have her own child, including surrogacy, she is now living child free, not by choice. While we always encourage people without children to adopt a dog from a shelter, we sometimes make exceptions to our rule. This is one of those times. I get to spend the next eight weeks, raising her fur baby who will be her child. It may sound silly, but I feel pretty honored to be able to give her a little bit of something she has longed for.

***Canine Pregnancy Warning****

Oooo! I am just so excited! We just got back from the vet, we had Dakota x-rayed so we could find out how many cute, adorable, labs to expect next week and it looks like we are expecting EIGHT!

I am so excited :) Without further ado, her x-ray

Not IF Related but Super Good News!

****Canine Pregnancy Mentioned****


For years, DH and I have raised, trained and bred Labradors. We breed pups for families with small children and for people who use them as hunting dogs, as our dogs come from good hunting bloodlines. I always encourage every person we interview to get a dog from their local shelter first but since there are circumstances in which that isn't a good idea, we select those applicants to give our babies their forever home. We have, at most, one litter a year and raise the pups in our home as if they were our own. I am excited to share that our chocolate lab, Dakota, is definitely pregnant! She is due some time between November 2nd and 7th. I will be taking her for an x-ray next week to find out how many pups she is having and narrow down the due date a little bit.

I absolutely love breeding and training labs and while some of our litters have been more successful, financially, than others, I am super hopeful that we will have a bit of extra money to move us towards being able to do IVF next summer. I am so excited to be able to look at their cute little puppy faces all the time, I can't wait for these little pups to be born!

Reflections and looking forward

One of the girls on my discussion board asked me some interesting questions this morning that really got me thinking. She was wondering about how I feel about moving on to IVF and how I stay positive about everything so I thought I would share my answer here, as I spent a long time reflecting on all of our cycles, disappointments and feelings about the future, last night.

I would be lying if I said I am forever hopeful. I would like to be, but truthfully, there are days when I dissolve into tears and curse the world. Looking back, I always kinda knew that the IUIs were just a shot at a miracle. I never completely believed they would work, so I always looked at them as a way to see how my body responds and the disappointment was easier to handle. I absolutely believe IVF will work so it is easier to stay positive about it working. The thing I have a hard time with is waiting while we save. I had hoped that we would be able to get a lot of money together quickly but every avenue fell through. Dealing with the disappointment of each failed attempt to get the funds what heartbreaking, but I still tried to remain positive. Now, I just try to focus on the fact that I can't control everything and that IVF will happen eventually. When I start to get really discouraged, I tell myself that I may not happen when I want it to, but it will happen eventually. DH is really good at helping me not focus on the waiting and instead focusing on the end game. I also have a playlist that is full of positive songs about hope that I listen to whenever I am feeling particularly down! 

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day

Tonight at 7 pm I will be joining in the International Wave of Light (https://www.facebook.com/events/194459270597226/) and will be lighting a candle for Petey, Rowan, Meagan's angel baby, Connor, Ninja, Oscar, Bella, Tittle and Firefly, my mom's angel babies and my aunt's angel babies. 

Also, I invite you to read the most recent post on my public blog as Meagan tells her infertility story in order to raise awareness, by clicking here.